The Three Biggest Hazards...No, Make That Four.

As previous posts have mentioned, I've been doing some kiteboarding over the past dozen years or so.  If you are not aware of what that means, it's a sport in which a large kite on long lines pulls the participant across the water on something that looks like a wakeboard, all powered by the wind, under some degree of control. 

It is very picturesque, and experts can perform incredible maneuvers, including jumping over a hundred feet vertical, doing all sorts of flips, speeding at up to sixty miles per hour, etc.  Note: I am not an expert.  However, even at my low-intermediate level, it's lots of fun.  Many people believe that one has to have great upper body strength to participate.

Note: That is not a recent picture of me.  Or even a non-recent picture of me.  Instead, the kite is attached to a waist harness, and steering the contraption requires no great strength.  

Unfortunately, anyone who can type "youtube.com" has seen horrific videos of what are known as "kitemares," in which someone messes up with bad consequences.  

Fortunately, with anything close to adequate instruction and some respect for the whole proposition, such things are much more rare than "youtube.com" would make it seem.  

However, as my brother has pointed out, who is far more expert than me, there are three big hazards in kiteboarding.

The first is an innocent-appearing device called a Woo.™ 

Using accelerometers and clever software, a Woo attached to your board can document the height of your jump, its duration, how many G-forces are generated on landing and a bunch of other information.  This data can all be uploaded to your Apple watch or phone and then to the internet so that everyone can see it and you can brag about it.  How could that possibly be dangerous?  What could possibly go wrong?

That is correct.  The hazard of this device is clear.  And by the way, the "I'm" referred to above is not me.

The next major danger is a camera.  As the old saying goes, "If there's no picture/video, it didn't happen."  Again, what could possibly go wrong?

And the third hazard is a crowd.  Even at my baby-steps level, I have felt the unmistakable, massive pull to "do something cool" when people are watching.  More people = more impetus.  Put a couple of thousand spectators on a beach in Capetown, South Africa, and you've got the King of the Air competition and what could possibly go wrong?

And so there you have it, the three most dangerous things about kiteboarding.  

OK, OK, one more.  

My brother Mark and I had a great time kiting on a small bay on the Chesapeake last week.  At the end of the session, I was near the shore in shallow water, bringing my kite down to land when I tripped on something and fell.  I reflexively put out a hand, and came down on a broken bottle or an oyster shell, at least something sharp.  It was awful - I got blood on my kite.

The good news was a) it was at the END of the session and not the beginning, b) CVS has tetanus shots, c) my brother and I are both ex-doctors, and d) I didn't cry.  That much.

So, what's the fourth hazard?  It's the one about being a klutz and falling down in shallow water, and I wasn't even trying to chew gum at the same time.

In all seriousness, the biggest risk of this actually-nice sport is probably driving the car to the site.  My hand is healing well, and chicks dig cool scars, right?  And I can't get the stains off the kite, so that's cool, too.  

We hope that wherever you go kiting has less sharp stuff on the bottom.

Dave