Vital Signs - of Norway!

      We recently had the immense good fortune of traveling in Norway for a couple of weeks.  We rented a car, and so we had to be sure we were clear on the signs along the way.  Some were easy.

    Nope, that's not Norwegian, but we have seen similar "Stop" signs in a lot of countries.  OK, easy.

    This one was also straightforward, though I was not aware that Norwegian fish had antennae.  I was careful to avoid catching one anyway.

     This sign was a little bit graphic, but once again, the meaning was clear, even without speaking Norwegian.

    On the other hand, the blue part of it got a little tougher.  I finally concluded that it was a command to do tricks if you brought a bicycle, though really the scenery seemed sufficiently amazing just by itself.

    We had to conclude that, maybe because of the long, boring winters, the populace must be into stunts using transportation modes, as in this sign:

     Who knew it?  There may well be a Norwegian named Evel Kneivelsen, though I did not meet him.

     There were various crossing signs.  This one was easily understandable:

     I have to say that our moose (mooses?  meese?) in the U.S. can do better than 0.1-6 km.  I have personally been chased by one in Yellowstone, and I swear he was doing AT LEAST 40 mph.

     We were warned of other possible things crossing the motorway.

     The Norwegians have us on this one.  Apparently, their kids cross the road doing 60, and it looks like they're not even breaking a sweat.  I was surprised that her pigtails were not blonde.

     Then it got a little weird.

     This one was clear:  Slow down or there may not even be coal in your stocking next year.

     Poultry Pride is big in the country, as shown by this sign, offering the view of a really cool bird.

     All psychedelic drugs are illegal in Norway, and now you've been warned.  However, as evidenced by this one, the guys in the sign shop need to stop by the testing lab on the way home.  

     It is clear that while we have Sesame Street, the Norwegians help their kids get literate with street signs.  No, you pronounce this one"Eee," as in "Eeek! A troll!  Crossing the road!"

     And this one

is pronounced "Teh-ah" not "Tee" as in "I don't think there is enough flat land in all of Norway to TEE up a golf ball."

     Though this sign could have represented an exultant Norwegian shouting "I made it!" as he summits an appropriately scenic peak in the country, 

when the horizon is corrected, it's actually a warning that he's probably going to kill himself if he tries it.

     The signs offering snacks were welcome.  This one says "There's something that you can eat with either a fork or a spoon over there, but it's going to cost you 300."  (Food was expensive!)

     I think this one points toward coffee (350?! What?!) and something Japanese.  I think,

while this one says, "You should have bought it while it was 350, dumb American!  That coffee is now 550!  And the Japanese stuff is 350, and if you throw it up, it's gonna cost you 200!"

     It is important to note, that while these prices are outrageous, the surroundings of the signs are very scenic. 

     Speaking of which, this one means, "Don't drive your Ford into the fjord!"  That would be un-scenic.

     Another one concerning such things.  I'm thinking that this one means that under Norway Highway Statute No. 22-06, no un-scenic camper vans are allowed, a rule which unfortunately was broken pretty often.

     This one had us scratching our heads for a bit until we asked a Norwegian.  

     Apparently, as in much of Scandanavia, it is illegal to have a meth lab in your un-scenic camper van.  And the rest of the sign?  Who knows.  That guy even shrugged.

     Public bathrooms in Norway were...wait for it...scenic!  Here's an example:

     These are real.  Here's another one:

     I mean, these things make you want to drink more water, just so you have to stop.

     However, the signs inside were not quite as scenic:

     Kind of graphic, and for that I apologize.  The top row is pretty simple.  However, the bottom row... well, I don't know.  I think bottom left is trying to discriminate against older gentlemen, and I resent that.  The next frame on the row apparently says not to dispose of baby seals in the sink, and that would seem to make sense about such a cruel and plumbing-problematic practice.  The third one, OK, don't drop trash on the floor, duh, and the last one says "Don't try to get rid of your un-scenic camper van down the toilet!"

     So in conclusion, in addition to being just plain beautiful, Norway had a lot of new signs for us to learn.  We hope that this has been helpful for your next visit to that honestly stupendous country.  

Dave & Paula