When asked what they wanted Sister Henderson to serve next, the office Elders said, "Coconut rice!"So first, you have to get a coconut or two. Paula looked around for a tree, but quickly realized that being altitudinally challenged and not from these parts, there had to be another way.
There was, and they were only three thousand mil (about a buck and a half) a piece.
The next thing you need is a Puerto Rican. Luckily, one is close at hand, one of our favorite people, Lucy Casablanca, wife of President Casablanca of the Bogotá South MIssion.She gave Paula a quick tutorial on how to make a coconut obey.
First, you put a screwdriver through the "eye" that's softest and drain the water. Eeeewww!
Next, and this is the part Paula liked the most, you put the thing in a plastic bag and heave it at the floor! The reward is a satisfying shattering sound, and the release of any pent-up frustrations occasioned by your spouse (speaking of other people).
Now, doesn't that feel better? The busted up coconut goes in the freezer.
Once thawed, the white part comes out really easily.
Ever try to milk a cow? Ever try to milk a COCONUT? Luckily, the processes are not even close.
Pull out your dependable Osterizer, add the coconut water to the chunks and let 'er rip!
Now, take one of your husband's white shirts that suffered a pen leak, cut out the back and make a bag, and strain out the coconut milk. This part may take a llooonnnnngggg time if your husband is careful with pens.
Now you've got coconut milk to make the rice (recipe on request), and a bunch of shredded coconut.
And that, dear reader, is why they have tile floors in South America.
May all your coconuts (and spouses) be equally obedient.
Dave & Paula